sweet granite you are NOT an idiot... you are a human being who is struggling to overcome her past... I think you are very brave and strong working through things. can you show her this post? maybe write at the top of it 'i need to talk about this please start the conversation' or something? i have done that with my t in the past with things i couldn't make myself start a conversation about. sending safe hugs and gentle healing energy your way dear granite.

eta: my t often forgets things SHE has said, because she focuses so much on remembering what I say. She even told me straight up one time "I never remember what I say" with strong emphasis on the second I. Maybe this happens with your t too. (I think my t can be a little flighty sometimes, but I love her to pieces anyway!)