My T does that too- yesterday she mentioned something I'd told her two years ago, I was like, "wow" but on the other hand, when I remind her of something she's said two days ago, she's been pretty oblivious at times.

I really wonder, Granite, if you two might benefit from doing a lot of grounding work before focusing on disclosures. You seem to feel so unsafe, and I understand that- when I felt so unsafe in therapy, I didn't get a lot of work done, because I was emotionally closed up. I had to work a lot on simply feeling safe and calm before talking about things of substance, and that work was invaluable. Just creating a little feeling of relaxation, connection, etc.

My therapist and I did it in a few ways. She helped me with some anti-anxiety exercises when I had panic attacks, and gave me some more relaxation exercises when I asked. She was open to chatting about easier topics, like favorite foods or other simple day to day topics. She would do creative visualizations with me, so we were entirely focused on the positive. In one, I got to imagine a safe space- I chose a dorm room because I loved the idea of college so much, and in another I got to decorate a tree in the woods however I wanted, in great detail around Christmas time, etc. She would also read to me for a few minutes if I wanted, which helped me calm down, poetry or Little Women or Velveteen Rabbit, etc. a few pages here and there. I also helped make therapy a relaxing and safe space with my own little rituals - I wear a shawl I can wrap up in, I drink my favorite tea, and I pull a little Angel Card for inspiration: one of them is Compassion, I'm sending you compassion so you can be compassionate with yourself. You're not an idiot- sometimes, we need to tell ourselves the truth- we're scared, not idiots, many times, and that eventually quiets the false, critical voice which probably used to protect us and which we don't need anymore.