I literally can't live this way anymore.. I know that the way I feel isn't 'normal'.. But I don't know where to get help.

Sometimes I go through weeks of being motivated, full of hopes and dreams, I make plans, I'm happy, confident and everything is okay. Then I will fall quickly into a rut.. I sit around and stare into space, I feel out of control and lost, depressed, no energy at all to even try pull myself out and most of all angry. I don't leave the house and feel constant guilt for my children.
Then it will go away and I start being happy again. It's a horrible cycle.

I saw a doctor who put me on ativan for anxiety, I saw a therapist who didn't help after 6 months so I quit going..

I'm in a never ending cycle of being up and down and I can't take the depression ruts, I feel like I just want to sit around and cry

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