Hi Lavender,

India Arie has a song that says "One shot to your heart without breaking your skin, No one has the power to hurt you like your kin, Kept it inside, didn't tell no one else, Didn't even wanna admit it to yourself, and now your chest burns and your back aches from 15 years of holding the pain..." First thing that popped in my head when reading your post.

I completely understand that hurt that can just leave you silent, and the need to keep it inside and hold it together to make it through work and other activities of daily living. It is a very very hard thing to do.

The hurt can not be solved in this moment, but perhaps taking a moment to walk away (to your car, the restroom) and just allow yourself five minutes to just cry can help you make it through your shift? Sometimes that's simply what your body needs to get through the moment, a release.

I'm sorry that you are hurting so badly, but i'll share with you advice that's been shared with me time and time again. Feelings are just that: feelings. They are hard, uncomfortable and may feel overwhelming but they are survivable.

Sending peaceful thoughts your way.