Not to make this matter more confusing, but in my opinion, Love is a matter of your perception.
Scenario: If you are in a "loving" relationship and your partner fools around on you, just once or perhaps many times, without your knowledge - you still "love" him/her because you simply don't know you shouldn't. Your thoughts are not telling you to withhold love.

Specifically to your situation "darknessismyfriend", because of your history--you have a story embedded inside of you that "love is not for me"....changing this way of thinking will be transformative for you, love most certainly can be for you, but YOU have to believe it!

I would really like to recommend this if you already haven't read it; As A Man Thinketh by James Allen. It is brilliant.

I wish you much love.