Granite,
You have made such great strides if you look over the long haul of your time with T....My T has to still constantly remind me to 'check in' when he says something that doesn't resonate or I don't understand. Since I'm horrible at eye contact, I usually just look up at him and shake my head. Then ask him to say it another way so that I can hear it better or understand the context better. Sometimes I have to email between because I remember what he said and I get hurt or confused. He ASKS me to do this and if your T does not, ask her if it is okay when things sting after therapy time if you can check in sooner when she might remember better. I try really hard to listen, but sometimes he just uses a word or says something that he meant kindly but it creates a reaction in me and then I'm not attached and listening. You are NOT an idiot nor am I, we just have gentle souls that are a bit more 'aware' of things people say or how they say it and sometimes we need to be more careful to ask again or confirm...
Be patient with yourself and your T....you are doing great...

Wysteria Blue