Quote:
Originally Posted by muffinhead
Stbguy I can somewhat relate to what you're saying. I've never been outright standoffish (as far as I can tell), but I have had my regrets of what I have done to those around me in the past. There was a girl who liked me, and I pushed her away due to my Aspie behavior: I've been kicking myself for rejecting her ever since.
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I think I've encountered the same scenario. The girl I speak of, I think she might have really liked me, and as you say, the autistic/Asperger's behaviour made it seem like I had rejected her, but I really didn't want to, I liked her too, in fact, I loved her. I think I may have really hurt her, even though unintentionally. I guess I deserve the treatment I get from her now. I really couldn't see that she was interested in me, it didn't even register with me at the time. A steep learning curve over the last few years has enlightened me, and now if I look back, she was definitely showing "signals", but a lot more subtle than other girls would. Thinking back though, this makes sense, for a shy girl, this would be spot on, she would not show signs as intensely as a more confident girl would. It's all starting to make a lot more sense to me now. But, I still am extremely frustrated at my condition in that I have to sit and analyse and work everything out in hindsight once the person exits my life. The whole thing feels like a police investigation.
Because of the household I grew up in, because of the torment I went through at school, and the constant character breakdown, I really didn't believe that anyone would ever feel anything for me. I solidly believed that nobody could ever love me. So, naturally, when she tried to gain my attention it took no hold in me whatsoever, seeing as I believed I was unlovable. The autism further sealed my fate in not being able to see it.