(((((((((((Jacq))))))))))))))))

First, I'm sorry I didn't see this sooner. I've been kinda avoiding this section because I'm still not in the best of spots. I apologize because you're my friend and I care about you.

You are not pathetic, sad or lame. Not in any way, shape or form. You are grieving for people who were comforting and accepting of you and that you loved. That is normal, it really is. It hurts because the pain never seems to go away, and I know I'm not fond of the phrase "time heals all wounds" either, but let me phrase it like this - your wounds, and this hurt you're feeling - they may always be there, but it will get less painful every day. You may have bad days where all you remember is the people you've lost, the comfort and acceptance and familiarity of these people and of your highschool - but you're going to gain other people who won't make you feel the same way, but that will make you happy in an entirely different way. I can guarantee it. You say you're dependent on the love of these people who are no longer in your life - same here, same here. When people leave our lives suddenly or abruptly, we don't usually get any closure and it hurts like hell.

I know I'm not saying anything you probably don't know or that I haven't said already before but I'm so sorry you're feeling like this.

If there is ever anything I can do, let me know. I love and care about you a whole bunch.