I have a not-great relationship with my mother, too, although for different reasons. I'm not sure what to tell you to do, because I can't even solve my own problem. I can tell you that your mother is unreasonable and I relate to the violation of privacy issue you have with her. I snapped at my mom last night because she called while I was on the phone, and stupid me told her I had called my bank (I tend to be pretty honest, and have a bad habit of revealing information without thinking first), and she wanted to know if I had overdrawn my account, like it's her business if I did (I hadn't, and haven't in years!!!). She worries about it, and she'll get all upset, and the more you try to tell her that you find it disrespectful, the more upset she gets and will become anxious and worrisome. She asks rude and nosy questions a lot. She doesn't understand why a friend of hers doesn't want to reveal her weight, when my mom was open to her about her own weight (without being asked). She thinks her friend is rude to not tell her.

I'm not trying to put the focus on me, but just sharing that I understand the privacy issue and having a difficult mother.

You can try to tell her how you feel and be honest with her--isn't that what psychs usually recommend? But she may not respond positively to the information, or change her ways. Let us know how it goes, whether you do or not. Good luck.