I never hated anyone in my class if they were brilliant. I did not hate those who took themselves very seriously, even if I didn't have that attitude towards myself. Maybe your actions had less impact on people than you think?

What I can relate to is being "smart" but still needing time with school. Less clever students got better grades. I think because they could structure what they read easier while I needed all the pieces before my mind could start the puzzle. It is just two different ways of learning. None is inferior. But at that time I wondered why I didn't have better grades. I knew I should have had.

About lost love, sad I know, but it is part of life. Maybe both of you were not able to really meet at this point in life. It hurts but similar things happen to all people almost.

No one goes through life without bruises.

That does not mean we should think back on every occasion where we possibly hurt someone unintentionally, there is no way of knowing their reaction. Learn, move on. Forgive yourself.