I finally told God what I thinik of his mistreatment of me. Yes, I've been drinking again and the truth is it helped me to honest with God. I suffer from schizophrenia and OCD. That puts me in a range of 0.25 percent of the population. Add alcoholism and its 0.025 percent. I just don't know how to live without my crutch; especially when that crutch works so well.