KasparBlue I do hope you keep yourself safe until this passes. These dark periods always pass... you know that even when you feel like it never will. They always pass.

If you are making plans to commit suicide you need to reach out and talk to someone. Do you have a doctor or is that whole process you were describing what is keeping you from one? Can you go to emerg when you feel suicidal?

You are not alone. We are here and we know how you feel. We've all been there. It sucks and it's a very dark place but those feelings will go away. So keep posting and hang in there.

(((((((((HUG))))))))))

Lisa