t, i tossed and turned half the night and now i'm awake an hour before i need to be i can't sleep for worrying about this stupid money thing again, you mentioned your current rate yesterday and it's gone up, i'm supposed to be paying half for my half-sessions but now i know i'm not, i'm paying a little less than half your current rate, and i feel guilty, why you didn't say anything, i'm so scared of this subject i hate money so much it's what caused the one rupture we had it's been a long time ago but this has made it all fresh again and i'm afraid you're mad but just haven't said anything god i hate money i am scared that we're going to have another rupture because of this what happened to the security i felt in our therapeutic relationship???? gah!! when did your rate go up?! we need to discuss this and won't be talking for 2 weeks now. ugh, ugh, curse words, ugh, blah. don't hate me. i'm sorry.