i know it might sound weird...but it is impossible for me to actually say it out loud...i can say it so boldly online...well because i really dont "say" it....and i use hand language to tell my bf what i am feeling when it comes to that..i cant even talk to him about it out loud...i cant even write it in a text...for some reason if i say it online..its like almost a dream huh..not real...and if i say something..."not real" i almost believe it...and sometimes i do believe it....this i way to hard...