From a book called Running on Empty, it talks about how you think you can trust your T. but deep down you feel like you don't. I was in that boat. I couldn't pinpoint why I couldn't trust her. I knew she would show up at appts, keep confidentiality, etc. but the transference made me fear she would judge me.

I read a lot about trust and that it's a choice. One day you have to decide despite the fear that you will trust. You have to recognize that even if you get hurt, you can work through it with the other person. My T. and I had done that several times - worked through ruptures.

So, about a year into it I told her I'm going to trust her. I still have moments where I don't. I still worry she will judge me. But, most importantly, I trust that she will do what she thinks is best for me. I didn't have that with my mom. It was a huge relief.