Quote:
Originally Posted by Webgoji
This obviously isn't about him.
This situation is about you turning the tides on your ex's. It sounds like your inner "tape" is saying, "Not this time. I'm going to take charge, I'm going to be the one." But instead of being in charge, you're nitpicking. Your ex's were emotionally distant, so you have to push him back with ridicule. You don't like him being cheap, but said he was broke. But your ex's weren't were they?
He didn't get the right this, he didn't do enough of that, he should have had this ... compared to what? Anything he does that doesn't meet your expectation comes back to your ex's:
Etc, etc.
This new relationship (and any other) is going to be a struggle until you can close the chapter on those past relationships starting with your father. My understanding is that it starts with forgiving them all and then the real work can begin on knowing when something he does is really inappropriate or if you're lashing out at something from the past.
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Thank you. I very much agree. I am in
Therapy to make sure I let go off the past. And I thought I did. But here I am. Meeting this guy and it all comes back. I am really trying guys. That's why I posted here. I needed your help
My BF does know what I am doing and why. We are both very open about what's happening. We discuss everything. We have different issues but we have them nonetheless.
We finally both have a full weekend off together, normally our schedules et us only be together one day at a time . He is driving here now. I'll try my best this weekend and I will update you all
Thank you all again. I advice others on things but rarely share myself. Now Is The time I need you!
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