Just because something isn't constantly negative in your life
does mean it is not valid: nor does it mean it did not happen.

I was r**** and molested by a male physician from ages 3-10.
My mother knew. She took me to him each and every time.
She did not want me.
However, once I returned from his office--the sexual abuse stopped.
It never happened in my home.
Just because it never happened in my home--does this mean that my
trauma was not valid or real?

Say prayers and blessings for your mother.
She clearly saw no other alternative or way out of her situation.

My mother ruined my sex life.
My first, real memory is of the doctor r***** me.
I have no recovery point of normalcy to refer back to.
Every time I am with someone in an intimate relationship--
my PTSD flairs up. I start having flashbacks of the doctor r***** me.
When this happens? The relationship is over.
I stopped dating over a decade
ago because of my PTSD.

I am not convinced that I was put on this earth to have intimate
relationships.

If you haven't found a therapist that is making progress with you--
don't give up. I went to many & none of them helped me at all.
All they wanted to do is tell me how a man thinks and acts.
All of them were female.

About a year and a half ago I started going to a therapist who has the same
spiritual belief/ religious faith as I do. I highly suggest if you are spiritual, or religious--that perhaps you try finding a therapist within your faith to help you.
I have been able to open up to him--unlike all of my other therapists I had before in the past.

Also, I am learning how to trust someone from the opposite sex again.

Hang in there. Don't brainwash yourself into thinking that what happened to you was not real. Also, just because it wasn't a constant trauma 24 hours out of the day/ 7 days a week---does not mean it doesn't have merit.

.