ITs not being strong, its knowing its going to be hard and accepting that and not fighting it. I will have days when I will no doubt feel like ending it all, but its having insight into this and not acting on it that is the key.

Yes its a long time, yes it will be hard, yes I will miss her greatly, and yes the world will continue to spin.

The first yr I tried to act strong, that didnt work, now I am allowing myself to admit at gut level that I will miss her, miss our time together.

Its better to witness my feelings rather then act them out, 3 yrs of therapy has got me to this place.

Before I started T I didnt admit to anything I didnt want to "see" now I know I am not made of steel and in my surrending to my true feelings I find the inner strenght.

But yes would allow me to email her or contact her if I needed to, but this is the 3rd yr together and I know I've made it twice before, so whats different about this time?

I can't tell you how comforting it is to have told T honestly this time that I want her not to take a break even though I know in reality if she agreed to me, I would not like that.

Just talking about the real feelings is where the solution lies.