I get the impression that you're going to have to implode before things get better. Hopefully it happens at school so professionals will be in the front of line and not your parents. Based on your posts I have seen around the forums, you suffer from psychosis. You're also in an extremely invalidating and neglecting family environment. You try to keep everything a secret from the professionals trying to help you and refuse to give medication a fair chance. Something is going to give eventually. I hope you receive the care you need when it happens.