Hi beactive. Welcome to Psych Central. So sorry for what you endured and experienced as a survivor of rape. No one should have to go through it. But it sounds like you are a survivor and aiming to deal with it. But it is hard without a therapist and guide. That can be someone to turn to when the thoughts are eating at you.

I don't know if this will be something you can hear, but I am so moved how intelligent and expressive you are in this time when some people are falling apart and can hardly say anything. I know nothing right now is easy, but I sense how much a survivor you are. And I admire that you have spoken out about rape and its unfairness and so candidly debunked the myths around it.

Many people find the forums and the articles helpful. Here are some forums.
Survivors of Abuse - Forums at Psych Central

Many people who are actively involved in Psych Central find it helps take them out of their own problems to develop empathy for others. And their problems though still there are more manageable.

There are lots of compassionate people here that can make the load lighter by sharing and caring. Feel free to participate actively at Psych Central. Some people find the forums give them the compassion and empathy they seek. http://forums.psychcentral.com

Please feel free to private message me or any of the Community Liaisons by left clicking on the name in blue to the left of their post) for questions or just to share.

One more thing I turn to for comfort when my troubled mind or aching body will not subside. It is simple enough for a child, but when I am struggling to go off to sleep, it can be my ticket to sleep. Or when I am in the day trying to cope and it seems like I am going to fall apart, I turn to this.

Breathe naturally. Silently count as you breathe, 1 on the inhale, 2 on the exhale, 3 on the inhale...up to 10. Then start at 1 again. If it feels natural, you can allow your breath to deepen and go toward or into your belly.