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Hello dear Rainy day. Well, I've been through the entire ED spectrum for more than 30 years, almost life long like you. I have never had even a short period when one of the ED's hasn't been at the forefront of my daily life. It could be anorexia, bulimia, BED, severe restriction, binge/starve. I've gone through every weight from lowest and hospitalised to bordering on obese and everywhere in between. Right now it's severe restriction following trying to eat "normal and healthy", I ended gaining weight on the latter so resorted back to restriction. To be honest, I've almost never imagined life without ED in it, it's "my" disorder and that's all there is to it. I've done damage to my body over the years, like could not have kids and I have oestoprosis, there are other big issues like drugs and drink which I've used to "manage" my food issues. One big very important thing is that I have BPD and you know how horrible that illness is by your mother. ED's are a big part of BPD I'm afraid, as are OCD's and depression etc. we're complicated us humans arn't we? I would like to say that even if we personally don't find a "cure", we CAN find a way to live alongside our maladies without harming us too much. I hope that might help a little. HUGS and LOVES. Xxx
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