some of what i remember was just always having others there to some degree, hearing their voices, being taken care of by one in particular, playing with some, etc. one i remember more was an adult female who would comfort me/others sometimes at nighttime if needed. i never thought it was odd until i got way older (which at that point i forgot any of that ever happened).

i don't remember specific things that caused it or triggered things...i know what did happen over those years though to some degree......but i don't know actual times they were created since they just always were there.

it was never picked up on by anyone around me because the me most knew was quiet and shy (and anxious), so there was nothing anyone could pick up on. although, i did see some home video of me with some family members at a certain age where i was very outgoing and loved the camera...which is odd because i've never remembered being outgoing and in later home videos, i was not outgoing like that...could have just been that particular time though.

i can remember trying to sleep and having a hard time sleeping and this conversation in my head where someone said we needed to sleep or else the teacher would know something wasn't right and that would be bad..i also remember another time having to see a doctor..i had a few incidents of wetting my pants as a young child (before age 8). i did not know if it was just because i got too busy to take time to go (maybe since i do remember two of those incidents which )...but i had to see a doctor. i remember a similar type of conversation fearing the doctor would find out (what, i do not even know).

i also remember doing something with friends one day and then an other didn't want to, so we just randomly turned and walked away from them without saying anything and went home to play by ourselves lol