I have become extremely cynical about men, because even the most liberal ones seem to be pigs when it all comes down to all. Women deal with sexual harassment in different ways: Some adjust to it and start interpreting it as a compliment because the alternative is too bad. While the rest, like me, just feel angry, sad, violated and offended that men somehow think that 1) they have a right to comment on the looks and bodies of random women passing them and 2) groping someone is an acceptable way of introduction. I am trying to interpret this as simply the behaviour of certain, immature men, but the truth is this is becoming harder and harder as it always surprises me which men turn out to be the most like this. It disappoints me to the core when a guy who seemingly cares about who you are as a person or who likes to portray himself as a guy who cares about women's rights and equality turns out to just pretend because it gets him into your pants. It makes me lose faith in men aswell as humanity (although I do know men who are for instance genuine feminists and who don't really seem to care whether the persons they hang out with are male and female, through and through, but it seems they are the small minority).

Anyways: What really shocks me, is the cheating. I am not saying women don't cheat. They do. But what appalls me, and my friends, is how casual men seem to be about it. Women who cheat usually keep their affairs somewhat secret, because they know their friends wouldn't approve. I have known my best friend since we were three and there is probably not a person alive, including my parents, I would feel more loyal to. I constantly defend her to others when she acts irrationally. Regardless: If she cheated on her boyfriend, it would not in any way be okay. If I knew about it I would feel bad, and I would feel guilty. I would first try to convince her to tell him and if it didn't work, I would tell him myself. I consider him a great friend aswell, granted, not as good as his gf who is my best friend. But this is irrelevant. I could never look him or her in the eye again if I knew about this and didn't tell. I would feel I was a bad friend not just to him, but also to her for letting her get away with this. I have talked to my female friends about this and they all feel the same. Those of us in a relationship know that if they ever cheated, we wouldn't let them get away with it. And they respect that.

What has begun to irk me is that men seem to defend other men to an extreme extent when it comes to this. I have myself seen otherwise decent guys act as wingmen for their occupied friends. If you confront them with it, they say "It's not my business". First of all, I never knew such cowardness existed - true friendship means also letting your friend know when they are doing something which is wrong, and second of all: When you turned the other eye or, even worse, acted as an accomplice in a friend's cheating, you MADE it your business.

Today I discovered EVERY SINGLE ONE - I will repeat this - EVERY SINGLE ONE of my female friends (the majority of my total amount of friends) have been hit on by guys who at some point reveal they are in a relationship. Now, some see this a cop-out: They say they are involved and if the other person doesn't mind, they keep going. With a clear conscience, it seems. Well, it doesn't matter if the person you cheat with doesn't mind it: YOU are the one in a relationship and staying faithful is your responsibility, no one else's. If you can't accept this then don't be in a relationship. You can't have it both ways. I have experienced this myself, and it made me particularly furious because the guy who tried to pull it with me was a guy I had been deeply in love with but who ditched me for his current gf. He lives in another city and clearly he thought that the moment he was back in my city, he could hit on me again and we would be back to what we had been. I was incredibly insulted for the complete disregard of my emotions he showed - he had broken my heart and I had dealt with it, and then he comes and thinks I will ask "How high" when he tells me to jump? A lot of men (and quite a few women) seem to have this extreme over-confidence in themselves and thus seem to find this atittude a natural thing, but to most people it seems a bit offensive. I am not your puppet. I will not go back to NOT feeling hurt just because you show some interest again. Stop trying to use my feelings to your advantage when your interest clearly doesn't go any further. This almost psychopathic behaviour seems to be increasingly normal. Back on track: Most of my female friends feel some variation of the same when someone tries to cheat on their partner with them. One, they are insulted that the guy clearly thinks they're an easy lay and don't even stop to consider that because they have casual sex doesn't mean they don't have morals. Two, they are annoyed that they have wasted their evening on someone they found interesting only to discover there is nothing there as the other person basically only saw them as a vessel to do something exciting and cheat with. Three, they are sad that the people around the potential cheater clearly see no value in informing them they are about to get dragged into such a situation and be used. It almost makes you wonder if men don't really regard women as equals... I will leave this hanging because I don't want this to become a flame war.

Why is it like this? Why do men accept, ignore and even defend cheaters? Why do they not feel it is their responsibility when their friend is about to do something stupid? Why do they to such a little extent feel loyalty to their friends' longtime girlfriends aswell, girls with whom they have become friends? Why do they rage when this happens to their sister or close female friend but don't realize they're part of the problrm when wingmanning their ffriend who is even engaged? I am generally a person who does not think the differences between men and women are tremendous but when it comes to this issue, I am shocked. For some reason males tend to feel more loyal towards their male friends than female friends.

I am so tired of this now I am once again considering giving up on men (for all practical purposes, I have at the moment but I do hope to find a decent, mature, funny, confident guy who can handle a challenge, a man who appears to be very hard to find.