CANDC touches upon the trust factor, after a divorce. I noticed that one of the articles listed in the array of articles from the link, talks about betrayal. It does sound like that was a huge factor, as you mentioned your ex-wife with your 'friend'. That type of betrayal is earth shattering and traumatic. Divorce has it's own type of trauma, never mind adding such an extra dimension.

It's not mentioned how long you've been with your current girlfriend. Do you find yourself conflict avoidant? Is there a piece of you that tends to appease her, for fear of pushing her away? Do you find yourself bottling things up? Is she aware of any buttons that she pushes with you? I've dated someone who does that. Both of us, divorced. What that does is creates a level of disconnect. The disconnect gives the impression that all is well in the status quo. And then when things don't progress, leaves a level of confusion. It's rather complicated and complex. Worth addressing with a trained therapist, imo. Could be the result of something subconscious as a result of family of origin, something not yet realized on any level, intellectual or emotional. And part of the relationship with your ex wife.

Glad that you've found PC. Warm Welcomes, MinionB.