my pdoc has yelled at me before and we have argued several times , ... as far as a dx mine has changed several times as I have demanded he prove to me why I need this or that , ... I have had severe depression and only one "episode" as he calls it , causing ip , ... although I will admit most of my younger days I did used to fly pretty high , ... my motto was " like a ping pong ball in a hurricane ", currently he says "I am on the bp spectrum" , ... I am always trying to lower my dosages as I " really do not need that " , ... but usually run back as things go wrong , ... I think if I really believed I had bp I would be less likely to do that , ... so sorry your meds are causing so much pain , ... I truely hope and pray you can find a combo that will work for you , not against you ...