a friend talked me out of killing myself, and im a bit glad he did... but then at work (i work in a hotel restaurant) house keeping came down with a big stake knife and gave it to me, when i went to go tell the head chef, he just told me to keep it.

i wish i could yell at the top of ,my lungs

THIS IS HOW I WAS GOING TO COMMIT SUICIDE!

but i cant say that, all i could do was accept the knife, i have it with me right now, and when i look at it, its a bitter reminder of want i can do, want to do, maybe should do.