I had a friend who suddenly turned on me. We use to work in the same department and when I took a job in another department we still met for lunch once a week with another girl. I have fibromyalgia and I went into a major flair in February that I'm still not completely out of. I try not to dwell or talk about it too much, but some days it's obvious by the look on my face or the way I walk that it's a bad day.

One day she was just so *****y. No matter what I said she was cocky back. For instance I said I had started the no wheat, sugar, and dairy diet and had lost 10 pounds, to which she replied "well I hope you stick with it this time".

I knew something was up. That night I got a long email that basically said she thought I was a jerk. Okay not those words, but she did say (among other things) that all I talk about is my bodily functions (huh?), that she felt my life hasn't changed much since a year ago and I shouldn't be so unhappy (okay, like she knows how I should feel or that my life hadn't changed?), that I "entertained the ills that plague my body", and that she couldn't be around anyone exuding negativity. She said I didn't take any of her advice and she didn't know how to help me.

I was shocked! She said that maybe this made her a fair weathered friend but that she was going to remove herself from lunch for awhile until she could "learn to be my friend".

Now I know this gal and she's a bit eccentric and off just like me, but some of this stuff was just downright hurtful.

So I took the high road, emailed her back and basically said that yes, she was being a fair weathered friend. My life had changed significantly and I couldn't always be sunshine and roses. I told her that if she suggested something and then I talked about that suggestion, she took it as I wasn't going to do it. I also told her that I thought friendship was supporting one another - they listen to me, I listen to them - that's how it goes. And that I never asked her to "fix" me.

I also told her that I was sorry she was having such difficulty with HER issues and that once she sorted them out, if she wanted to come back to lunches that would be great.

I saw her the other day for the first time since this happened in April and we both smiled and said hi. That's fine with me. I don't hold any grudge. But it was very upsetting because I had a friend years ago with fibro that I couldn't be around anymore because that's all she talked about 24x7. I have been very congnizant not to be that way. I came back to my office and asked my office mates if I was like that and they said no. So I was relieved about that.

My mom? She always plays can you top this. So, its useless to discuss with her because even if you had just been in a car wreck and were in the hospital she would find a way to talk about herself.

I live next door to my sister and we are both very supportive of each other's illnesses (she has M.S.)

Tranquility