Hey everybody,

I am just coming in to check up and say hi, and just have a bit of a talk. Please excuse the non-coherent I've had the "happy" pills.

I have a history of mental illness since I was 7 years old, being 20, nearly 21, it's a rather long time.

I understand that PC doesn't like discussion of suicide but really, it's inevitable. I have gone from being stable to sometimes slight episodes of the blues. Right? Nothing drastic.. Then to somewhat being aggressive and snappy, sleep all the time, you know the tell-tale signs of depression.. Then Psychosis began. I would begin feeling like this for a while however the symptoms began to happen every day, but would switch within hours. Hour one; End of the world, everyone hates me, why am I here, who are you cheating on me with, your a ***** ect ect then; hour two; Your the best person in the world, I can do anything I want to put my mind to, I even was working 4 jobs! I would write lots, draw, cycle. Then a low, all in one day..

So anyway, diagnosed with BP/Cyclo. Sent to see the Pdoctor, and never seen since. Medication began, Lorazepam PRN, then they were stopped. Then I was on Citalopram, stopped, sertaline instead. Then Lorazepam started, then stopped again and replaced with seroquel 25mgx3 times a day. Never once in my life have I had thoughts of killing myself, until today.

I tried, twice. Couldn't die. Rope failed.. Anyway. If I tell my doctor I tried hanging myself, what would the outcome be?