I don't. I mean hopefully nobody gets me wrong here, I'm not looking for anyone to provide solutions or make me feel better. I know it's just a suck situation and that it's okay to feel upset about it. I'm just having a difficult time perceiving with confidence because

1. I'm still having symptoms
2. I'm getting mixed messages from people (irl)
3. I hardly know what it normal to be completely honest
4. I know next to nothing about disability

Like when I first moved in after the worst of my then-episode with psychosis, and was still doing very badly, my mother wouldn't take me to see a psychiatrist even though I really needed to see one ASAP. I was still all jacked up mentally and only off the streets for a couple weeks before she was picking out an interviewing outfit for me while I walked around the store unshowered in a paranoid daze, and her husband was confronting me about getting a job and moving out as soon as possible. After several months of living as a psychotic hermit in their house, my mother finally agreed to take me to see psychiatrist because I was starting to become unpleasant to be around, smelling bad and communicating poorly. Now I'm a month into medication and starting to do somewhat better, and suddenly my mother is coming up with all these reasons that all have to do with me not being capable enough, as to why she doesn't want to help me get a job. She's even trying to sabotage me by telling me stuff like I need to wear jeans to an interview (if I can even get one) or otherwise people will think I don't fit in and won't hire me (when I know damn well that I need to where business casual to an interview). She's treating me like I'm stupid and disabled. She just wants to see me fail on my face and be her pet for as long as possible, while she's also the only person with the power to help me. I can't wait to see my pdoc in a couple days. Since I don't qualify for disability, hopefully she can at least give me something that will help me not care.