Hi everyone,
It seems like, as in Wants2Fly's post, a lot of us are dealing with the thoughts of relationships in our "middle years." My situation is a little more complicated (or so I believe) Wants2Fly talked about a 15 year relationship. I'm 51,and the longest relationship that I've had, including marraiges, is about 2 years. After years of therapy,support groups, and my own work, i know that my relationship challenges are due to childhood traumas, abusive relationships, traumatic losses...the list goes on. But I'm getting to the place where all of my trying to get "well" enough for a relationship is never ending. And even worse, I'm forced to accept that some things are never going to go away, like my bipolar, my age, my past, etc. In the past, when I've hid behind my "best face" I appear confident and together, that is until my abandonment issues come up,(or any of my other issues) I no longer want to hide behind a "false self." I want to go into relationships with my imperfect, sometimes fearful self. So...my questions are:
1. Should I join a online dating service, and just practice being myself? (in a safe way of course) Speaking of which, is that "Someone for You" dating site link a part of psychcentral? Anybody try it?
2.Should I, with the help of a therapist, wade through my fears and insecurities and "do it anyway?"
3. Should I stop trying to get "good enought" and consider the possibility that there are men out there, who like me,inspite of thier kindness, humor and intelligence(according to most people who know me) are just as scared as me? HELP!