This is a great topic, and one, as you've said, Wants, to which I've given a great deal of thought. I'm three years recovered now from the wet panties, passionate lovemaking with a man who, at the time, was 49 and I was 53. Bottom line is that I fell head over heels in love and he did not!
Had I been a 20's, 30's, or even 40's something, I think I would have bounced back and resumed dating, but over 50 with such humiliation is hard to recover from...at least for me! I find it particularly embarrassing to have been intimate...sex being the most intimate thing two people can share, and come out of it feeling like a fool!
I know there are women who just want a f-buddy, and some mature women can do that, but it's not in my emotional makeup. And I like who I am and don't want to change in that respect.
I've dated a lot since my divorce of 11 years ago, and, Wants, all the characteristics of the older men you described...I've experienced firsthand. I'm truly appalled now at how much I've compromised myself in these attempts at forming relationships.
On the positive side, I do still interact well with both sexes, as friends, freely engaging in conversation and willingness to get to know the person. I doubt I'll ever be interested in a man romantically again though...Guess I've been burned one too many times!
I applaud Pat (Fayerody) for her sense of adventure!
Patty