I can't make full sentences like when I smoked the marijuana. I'm freaking out.

Got my hair cut.. Couldn't speak to the girl properly. Didn't say why because my thoughts are most likely that she would have been terrified to cut someone's hair with schizophrenia.

OCD plays a huge roll in this big time. Idk how to explain that.

Bought new Bose ear buds for 300 dollars. I was going to buy an iPhone six but the text from my service provider meant something else.

When I get disability, I'll be paying for my phone bills and give some money to my mom. She says that she can't afford anything if my dad pays child support for only my sister as I'm not considered to be a student anymore.

Those 40 pages as well as 100 other notes, I accidentally deleted. I will try again with this.

I'm getting really bad trauma from what I was doing during the half year of on and off mania and/or highs. It was ridiculous. Going back to those moments makes my chest sink with excitement and fear like a stress junky. Was disguising with a guy with apparent access to the ISIS database and reports people in England and Holland.

I can't trust my dad anymore.. Six months ago, around before my hospitalization, I was paranoid and delusional and told him not to talk to me about psychosis because that will make it worse. He did it anyways.

I deleted the chat. The conversation made no sense.

My mom found the Concerta and gave me a weeks worth. thank god.. Also happy that I'm not abusing it and haven't for half a year. I miss the highs on lethal doses (Never get an LD50 on wiki) taking it as prescribed is very important so I don't go down hill faster. As I said, I see a disaster coming my way.

Smoking a pack of cigarettes a day for around a month.. I only smoke on holidays and have no craving. That's pretty weird along with my belief that methylphenidate is a pain killer with a recreational ceiling dosage not recorded by anyone else.