I haven't really written in a while. But there are days when I don't feel comfortable bothering my friends with all my dark thoughts. Been feeling especially sad as of late. Thinking about what I am doing with my life and how it's really not much at all. People don't usually like to be bothered with such petty complaints so I keep it in. Makes me wonder if I ever make my friends feel bad about them coming to me with their problems...maybe I am a hypocrite. I'm probably a really awful friend who doesn't listen enough to everyone's problems. I used to listen but as of late no one ever really talks to me besides my online friends. And even then I find it hard to bother them. I get these feelings that people secretly hate me, especially when I say sorry. Because I dislike offending people or conflict and it's a whole lot of stuff swirling around in my thoughts before going to bed. Sorry if it sounds like nonsense, I just needed to get it out without putting any one poor human soul on the spot to listen to me for 5 minutes. I pity the people who have to listen to my rants all the time. I don't know why anyone would want to be my friend.