Dorsey,
I feel I can relate to you; I haven't probably been through everything you have. (and I'm a 23 year old young lady). But I can totally relate to what you're saying. The answer to your questions, I would say YES to all of them! Sure we are all scared of something, and relationships is a biggie. I've been told that having an illness makes us more vulnerable; but, I think it should be viewed as a strength, I know this is weird, but we have something others don't and that is a chance to really make a choice to deal with things and heal and work on our problems versus the type of people like you said who deny that their is anything wrong with them at all and who eventualy I've seen meet their demise. My apologies for being so out there, and harsh. I don't mean to be. The online dating thing... I joined american singles today actually cause I wanted to know what the message was that someone sent me; I was a little disappointed it just said hi, but I replied and hopefully I can meet new people. I have a hard time really meeting and socializing with people, men in particular when I'm sober or I guess anytime when I feel like the spotlight is on me. But I say go for it. As for your comment of not knowing where the bipolar ends and you begin; throw that whole notion out. I mean yea you have an illness and symptoms that affect you; but, don't let them rule your life, really. As for sanity; well if we were all sane, that wouldn't be so fun, now would it? Hugs
Take Care,
Danielle