I stay in as much as I can too, for a variety of reasons. But I've found this forum a huge help, mostly because I thought it was just me being weak or weird or whatever, but it was SUCH a relief to discover that there are people who feel like that not just in my country (England) but the whole WORLD. Which often blows my mind. Lots of hugs and sympathy. Be good to yourself and don't force yourself to do anything that doesn't feel right to you.