Hi Betenoire, this comes a long time after your post but I still feel for you. Self harming is understandable if not long term helpful. If marks are visible but healed, you can put concealer make up on them till they fade. It may help you to feel better about going out, even if you have to reapply frequently it stops people casually noticing. I hope you can find a way to accept yourself, whatever you have done, would you blame your best friend if they had done the same in the same circumstances as yours? I am fighting an addiction to self injury, a few weeks of success so far, but I hope I can have compassion on myself 'if ' I relapse, every day is a series of choices to harm, or not and I try to make a positive choice, but when I fall down , tomorrow is a fresh start and I try to give myself a clean slate each day rather than punish myself for something in the past which I can't change. This is rambling, I apologise, but I hope it is some help.