I think you need to find a counselor, first and foremost. It is clear that a lot of your problems are deep rooted and have gone on for such a long time that you will need a professional to help you develop the skills you will need to get you to the point where you are happy. And you deserve that.

With that, it seems that the three biggest issues are with your parents, your friends and your job. I think that it's a good thing that you are able to point out exactly what the problem is.

I do have some suggestions, but I don't want to overstep or make assumptions unless you want me to. Please let me know, either on this thread or private message me.

Hugs

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