I realized if I had never left living with my brother or especially with the evil person, I don't think I would be here today. I'm thankful to live where I live now. Surrounded by people who actually care about me. Even though I'm still suicidal, it's mild compared if I had to live in hell. It's sad that my own family doesn't even care. It hurts a lot to know that both sides of my family hate me in a way. I'm glad I have my boyfriend. Without him, I would be long gone. I never planned my future. I always planned my demise ever since I lived with people who abuse me physically and mentally which was at the age of 9 (after my mom passed). It's worse ever since my dad passed away two years ago because the people who cared the most about me are gone. If it wasn't for my boyfriend or his family, I wouldn't be here. It's strange to think about this. The doctor said I'll continue to have bad thoughts. I just need to control them. I see a therapist Tuesday to help.