Thanks so much its lovely to meet u. I do have apsychiatrist and a psychologist that im seeing for ptsd and anxiety etc for a car accident me and my best friend were in in 2013. My car was a write off. Was really horrible. Anyway my friend was shocked at my version as i couldnt remember a lot of it like where it started and so on when she remembered every detail and said i had gone quiet at points saying its ok baby its ok to myself etc. i started having nightmares and extreme anxiety etc etc ptsd. And thru that started seeing psych. One time she asked about my life before hand when i was younger and thats when i was like wow i dont rememember much at all and was fearful and didnt go back. Avoided the situation and went dazed for weeks after. My family have bi polar, adhd, anxiety, depression, and my sisters phsych for her sexual abuse was starting to get into dissociation when she stopped going back as well. How did you all go at therapist was it hard for u to go? Its like one day i need to go then the next i avoid and any mention of anything i will retreat and not let anyone know and just be like im fine fine. Its like a war of opinions. Also out of curiosity has anyone that has a dissociation disorder experienced sleep paralysis? I went through a stage of getting it every night after car incident it was so horrible and i started staying with my best friend everynight she would sit next to my bed and watch until i was peacefully sleeping etc. She was my only friend. She was my everything. I then just dazed off even more. Like ill have days of grief so overwhelming then ill just drift off and be like unfased by anything. Kind of like before ot gets too much. its like when i walk into a supermarket etc its all too much noise lights etc and i just go into this zombie state functioning but not functioning lol it sounds weird.
But yes im going to try to go back to therapist and do the work. in the mean time ill keep journalling etc. ill take a picture of what i found in my journal.