I'm not sure what category to put this under, but please move it to the right one if this is the wrong category. These days I'm dealing with something very emotional and it's probably the most emotional thing I've ever had to deal with my entire life.

Have you ever had one of those "damned if I do, damned if I don't" dilemmas? I definitely am right now. Ready to hear what my dilemma is? DRIVING.

I have the whole "I will get driving lessons regardless of who gives them to me or where I get them" mindset. I'm determined to drive one way or another. Did any of you feel this way when you started driving? It's also mentally stressful and tiring. Nothing I've ever done in my entire life even compares to this and I'm not getting sleep these days, because I dread my driving lessons.

My driving instructor has been working there for 40 years and he's the only one they've got, so that's why I'm sticking to it. My mom and brother refuse to give me driving lessons, so either I get driving lessons from my driving instructor or not at all and I refuse to not get driving lessons at all.

I tried another driving school in 2009, but they did not work out and I haven't been in the driver's seat of a car in 6 years-until now. My current driving school not only gives driving lessons to disabled people, but it's also a special school or disabled people. My driving instructor gives driving lessons to disabled people and he's disabled himself. In fact, most of the staff in that school are disabled and they work with disabled people themselves.

I'm not sleeping at night nor am I having much fun. This is a small or huge price to pay for freedom and independence. I don't want to rely on other people to drive me around my entire life, walking will only get me so far, same with my bike, taxis are expensive, public transportation is expensive, the bus I take is for disabled people-but there are limits as to how far it will go, and my brother refuses to drive me around and my mom doesn't have much time to drive me around.

So that's why I'm sticking it and putting up with my driving instructor. I'm on the ASD and one time he said to me "I don't get you people!" It's because I hesitate to put my foot on the gas pedal. He says that a lot of his students are like that, but not all of them. One time he even said to me "I should do a study on you people." Rather than just saying "you"-meaning one person who happens to be myself, he generalizes and says "you people." Can you believe that?

How do I deal with this dilemma of mine and is it emotional or mental? Please give me some advice!