It all sounds quite distant and harsh to me. Your father sounds like the classic alcoholic who gets drunk every night and gets nasty and violent (e.g. choking you). He's probably distant because he has an escapist mentality with regards to his family and the real world in general. Getting drunk is a vice for him to escape from life and his problems. Your mother sounds like she is very abrasive and argumentative most of the time. To be honest, she is probably fed up with your Dad's drunken shenanigans and takes it out on you. She probably also has her own issues with you.