*Note: It all started when my sister said something to me and I walked away thinking that I knew what she said but really I don't think I was listening. We were at the store and we couldn't find each other because I had both of our phones and I didn't know where to meet her after I was finished doing what I was doing.

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I don’t think I’m communicating with my sister effectively because I seem like I am being defensive when she is trying to tell me something about what I did wrong. It is hard for me to say things to her because I get choked up and nervous and start to cry. I have a hard time saying what’s on my mind when I’m around her and internalize things. She always says she can’t read my mind. Our age gap is 10 years (I'm in my mid-20s) and she and I lived different lives growing up. It’s almost like she’s a mother figure so when she says things to me, it feels like I’m in trouble or she is ‘attacking’ me, when she clearly said she is not. It’s just her tone of voice that makes me feel that way and I’m a sensitive person. She and my mom have always been that way and I'm the quiet one of the three of us. But she said that the attitude I give off is uninviting. I don't raise my voice but sometimes she feels like I don't care or roll my eyes like I don't care. I told her I've been trying to change but don't think she sees it?

What got to me the most was when she said she worries about me because I can’t ‘function’ in life because I don’t know a lot of things or have common sense. Because I’ve never had to worry about most bills, rent, a mortgage or fixing things, she thinks that if I stop living with her, I won’t be able to make it on my own or get stressed out easily by too many things (I stress easily). She wants me to think about things before I do/say them.

I don’t articulate clearly when I’m with her but I don’t know why I can’t. Yesterday, we re-visited the same conversation we had almost a year ago to date. In a way, I feel inferior because I didn’t have the hardship she did. I can’t change the fact that I wasn’t taught valuable skills when I was growing up because my mother never did that. Does that make me stupid? Why the hell am I still here? I'm not the smartest when it comes to real life stuff. I am envious when I see that other people have helped themselves but I haven’t done that at all (other than go to therapy sessions and focus on my career). And my sister had to grow up very fast at a young age.

I understand that I am not like her and I’ve lived a relatively good life without much worry about things. I also don't feel like we have a sisterly bond like most sisters have.

What should I do? I want to bring her to my therapy sessions but I’m not sure yet.