My fiance has been struggling with depression for a few years now. I've been trying my best to help but depression got to me too and i've been dealing with that for a couple of years now.

But everything. Keeps. Piling. Up. She's been unemployed for almost 2 years and we have serious financial issues. She gets angry and frustrated all the time and she lashes out at me. She doesn't get along with my mother and family and doesn't ever want to be around them, not even on family occasions. I feel i can't even have my own hobbies as she says i prefer "playing" to being with her. I no longer hang out with anybody or even go to the gym, she says i ignore her and don't care about her. I feel sad and overwhelmed all the time.

Things with my mother have been going worse and worse. She'll take any situation, even an inocuous thing, and turn it int a whole scenario where she sees some sort of insult or ill treatment towards her. I can't even say otherwise because she'll say i'm always defending my motherand it just aggravates her. I love my mother and i can see she's frutrated too as this whole situation is very detrimental for us. I feel like i am neglecting my family and i can't even tell them why as i don't want to expose my fiance's problems or betray her confidence (she's VERY sensitive about her privacy).

Fights are ugly but rather one sided as whatever i say is twisted and she just gets angrier. I say to myself that i can't pick up the fight, that she's depressed and frustrated, but it kills me. In over 4 years of relationship, our very frequent fights are always because she gets angry at something i said or done. Not because i agree with everything she does, but i never ever make a fight out of it. Not her, its as she feeds on fighting.

Looking objectively i know it may seem like an abusive relationship and that i'm letting her have too much power over me. But i could never leave it knowing she's depressed and having financial issues. Besides, i break whenever she starts crying, so the really ugly fights are an emotional disaster for both.

I feel there was so much more i could say. Some days are really, really hard. This is one of them. I really do feel defeated.