Corazon, sorry you were triggered by explicit sexual talk. PTSD is a vast area that is often explored with a trained therapist in surviving trauma.

Your particular situation sounds difficult because you are putting yourself in vulnerable positions like the handcuffs. Why not disallow any restraint of motion. That can be a first step in abuse and may be triggering the abuse. Perhaps words themselves are too triggering. It sounds like the phrase he uttered could be considered abusive rather than passionate or intimate.

Here are other articles that discuss sex and PTSD.
Psych Central - Search results for Sexual triggers with ptsd