My primary doc took the button away so I couldn't try and cancel my appointment on the website. I wasn't going to cancel anyway--I'm planning to show--but its his way of "secretly messaging me" to say that he wants me there. I've had a number of health related problems, so I don't know if its that or the fact that I'm off Adderall now since I ran out over the weekend--but I really, Really think he wants to see me because of BOTH--especially the part about not having any more Adderall. That's what makes me behave so I don't do damage to myself. And I've been having some "moods" the past few days. I send him emails virtually every day. He can't reply, so he came up with alternative methods of of telling me things--like taking away the button on their website to cancel appointments, LOL. He's a good doc. Takes a lot frustration from me, I bet. Sometimes I make him laugh. He isn't supposed to acknowledge that he gets the emails, and he doesn't really. But he's slipped a couple of times and has let on in other ways. Between my health issues and not having the Adderall, there could be a chance of him putting me in the hospital for one or the other, or both. I really don't know. I am sure I must cause him alot of grief. I drag him in with my unsolicited emails, and there is virtually nothing he can do because I'm not supposed to even email him this way. I used to work within the system there so I knew how the email address was formatted and I've been abusing it. I had to have been really hard on him one day last month when I hadn't been taking the Adderall and was impulsive to doing damage to myself and OD'd on my heart med. It was right outside or near the office, too. Think he had someone--maybe his daughter?!--sit outside and watch me, and send text messages as to what I was doing. I can't say for sure, but it felt/seemed that way. It's sweet, if it was true. I still haven't found someone to prescribe the Adderall for me yet. The last two places I called haven't called me back either! Sadly, that seems to be normal.