I didn't want to just straight-up trigger the hell outta anyone browsing the forums who has an issue with this particular topic, which is actually: Scared of losing Father

Not sure if this falls under OCD, anxiety, or something else; perhaps it's all of them. I've always feared it, so much that my OCD used to be really bad in such a way that I had to do things for fear he'd... well, you get the idea. Don't even want to say it. (OCD)

Anywho, many years have passed. I'm now 29 years old! My dad's nearing 60 and I'm just utterly crapping myself. What if? I couldn't cope. I need my dad, as weak as that maybe sounds to some people. He's a lot to me. When everything is said, done, and counted, weighted, and summed up, it comes down to one thing: it's my dad and I and has been since my world got flipped, turned upside side thanks to my bammy mother, at 12-13 years old.

How the hell am I going to cope? Something I've spent the good majority of my life dreading and—I guess—obsessing over. I know me. I've thought about this so, so much it's unhealthy. The reality is, I'd drop seriously low. I'd feel immensely guilty as I usually do when crap happens, but nothing like the guilt of THAT. My OCD would likely make me think that IT happened because of me, because of me not doing this, that, and whatever else. I'd be MY fault. How the hell do I cope with that? How I do reason with that? I'd feel extremely guilty for everything I hadn't said, or done, or things I had said or done. It's crossed my mind that I need some sort of plan whereby I just straight-up book myself into some sort of 'accommodation', if you get my meaning. I'm by no means suicidal or anything—life is worth living, despite the crap—but I fear for myself at that time, and, to be quite honest, I bet my dad worries about it, too. (he knows my history)

Just really worries me.

My OCD is making me anxious, thinking that I'm jynxing it or something, that my posting this thread is ... blah-blah-blah. Trying to reason with 'it'.

The bright side, if you can EVEN say that, is that my step-mother would likely not just bugger off, and I think we'd be able to sort of talk about it or something. My dad would want me to make sure she's OK and everything. See, I shouldn't even be thinking this crap. This is what my mind has me thinking; it's horrible.

Is this something I should talk to my support worker about and see if there's something that can be set in place in that event, or am I just being stupid?