Sometimes I wonder if pain that's entirely made up inside of my head is even valid or real. But, I suppose, if it hurts me... it must be valid pain. I don't know, but knowing that what I'm experiencing is valid is very important to me, and is something I struggle with often. My head often goes in "thought loops," as I call them, which is something I think I see in your poem. I can't even seem to shut them off... Unless I "drown out my life in anime."
I guess I don't really know where I was going with this other than, I empathize. 
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"Do not be deceived, Wormwood. Our cause is never more in danger than when a human, no longer desiring, but still intending, to do our Enemy's will, looks round upon a universe from which every trace of Him seems to have vanished, and asks why he has been forsaken, and still obeys." -CS Lewis, the Screwtape Letters
Teen with (probably severe) depression
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