boy,,, that sounds famliar too.. it is a very rough time...

For me, it was "telling" my Dad that he needed to think about what he wanted to do.. Where did he want to be buried, cremated... sounds so brutal.. but my father was a different kinda fella.. is all I will say..

With the coversation about funeral.. it was making arrangements to go to a funeral home...

He wanted a say in his funeral... so it meant going with him to the funeral home, picking out the casket, picking out the music... do you want taps played at the funeral???...I know sounds so blunt...

Making arrangements prior to his death for the payment of the funeral..
Asking "dad, what do you have in your checking account"... "have you paid taxes"

And actually saying "if you don't have a will, you will need one"... but he said "no".... so that was his choice.. meant that everything was to be arranged between my sister and myself..

And asking him "to what means do you want to go to be saved in case of an emergency"..

just direct.. blunt questions...

but my Dad was a different kinda fella like I said... I could do this because all of my life till the end. he had a mean streak a mile wide.. and even just before his death he was still mean and orny and could tell you to "xxxx" off. (I am also an incest survior... so maybe my sister and I handled things differently because of that)..

But my Dad was very stuborn.. wanted everything just his way so that helped us..

sorry this isn't helping