Today was a slow-rolling load of meaninglessness and self-hatred that reminded me that when I get right down to it, my life basically ended some fifteen years ago and since then I've just been killing a lot of time until I finally get numb enough and careless enough about it all to blow my ****ing brains out. I won't tell you this because then who knows what you'd have to do, so we'll just keep dancing around it with smiles and peripheral bull#### and pretend I can be fixed.