After about a year and a half of therapy, I think I'm going to take a break. My T. and I had another rupture around my transference and me finding out a co-worker is seeing her now. She again mentioned referring me worried that the transference is too difficult for me (or something like that). I haven't shed a tear. Maybe in shock?

I've thought all night about this and have decided to take a break. I see her again in 2 weeks. Right now, I plan to send her a text this time next week that I would like to discuss a long break at my next session. I want to see how I feel after not seeing her for a couple of months. I'll either be worse or better.

My life is not perfect but it's fine. Work is fine, marriage is good, kids are good, relationships are good. A good friend of mine said I'm a much better person and that I am good at relationships. I just don't go deep and want to. But, everyone has their issues. I will always miss having a good mom and want more but perhaps seeing my T. is causing this issue to stay alive.

What if therapy is keeping issues that would normally pass much more active in my life? For example, I cried most of last week wanting a mom I don't have and support. After that I was ok. But, I kept the issue in my head and "alive" until I could see my therapist again to tell her about it. If I didn't have someone I was saving the issue for, maybe it would have taken a back seat much earlier in the week.

It will be really hard but I've got to give it a chance. It will also help me decide whether to stay in therapy and see someone else, see if it will work with current T. or decide I don't need it right now. Maybe without therapy, I'll focus more on my family and less on what I'm not getting.

So, I may check this thread for a few days but I think I'll try to stay off PC for awhile. I've put away my therapy books and plan to read the Love Languages of Kids. Thank you for all of your support!